


Show Me Your Scars (And I'll Show You Mine)

by Imagined



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Injury, Insecure Stephen Strange, Insecurity, M/M, Scars, Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 13:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18235472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagined/pseuds/Imagined
Summary: prompt: Could you write some Ironstrange with insecure Stephen? Who is always trying to cover his hands somehow?The worst part is that Stephen keeps tucking his hands away, just as Tony wants to hold them. He keeps hiding them, surreptitiously, no matter what they’re doing. It’s only when Tony kisses Stephen, or hugs him, that he feels the hands settle on his back, uncertain, ready to pull back within seconds.It only makes him want to cuddle up to Stephen even more, but he backs away, not sure if it’d be welcome.





	Show Me Your Scars (And I'll Show You Mine)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻译】以你的伤痕示我（我亦将如之）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19160812) by [Nihilee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihilee/pseuds/Nihilee)



> I was reading some of my old prompts on my [fic tumblr](https://www.allthetonyships.tumblr.com) and realized I've never posted these on ao3. May post some more old prompts if I'm still happy with them. If you want to read this on tumblr, just click [here](https://allthetonyships.tumblr.com/post/177803080430/could-you-write-some-ironstrange-with-insecure).
> 
> Edit: there is now a translation in [Chinese](http://nihilee-mw.lofter.com/post/205ba21a_1c5afbb89)!

Tony doesn’t notice it, at first. He should have; he’s stared at Stephen for long enough to know the man’s body language as well as his own. They’d been colleagues by necessity for a long time, which somehow bloomed into being friends, after spending one too many mission helping each other, which had somehow spiralled into Stephen kissing Tony after one particularly bad mission, only days ago.

Point is, Tony’s more or less in love with Stephen, and he likes to think he knows the man pretty well, at this point. He knows the tells of annoyance, he knows how Stephen sighs if he’s tired, he knows that when Stephen lifts his left eyebrow, he’s particularly angry.

So he doesn’t know how he missed this. He stares at Stephen’s hand, or well, at where he knows they’re hidden – behind Stephen’s back. Tony is the kind of person who does the majority of talking with his hands, and it’s only occurring to him now that he has never seen Stephen wave his hands around outside of combat. In fact, it seems like his hands are behind his back most of the time.

He only figured it out because he wanted to hold Stephen’s hand, and couldn’t. He feels like an idiot. 

‘’Tony?’’ Stephen says, looking at him with his eyebrows raised. They’re in the middle of the Sanctum, and he was talking to him, and Tony completely zoned out. ‘’Were you even listening to me?’’

‘’Yeah, yeah,’’ Tony says quickly, before going back to stare at where Stephen’s hands are supposed to be. ‘’Quick question: what did you say again?’’

Stephen gives him a look, but Tony thinks he’s used to it by now. Most people get annoyed when Tony zones out, but it’s just that usually, his mind goes faster than people talk. Stephen knows how that feels like, so he doesn’t judge Tony for it, even though he dislikes explaining things again.

‘’Where is your mind,’’ Stephen says with a sigh, but he steps closer to Tony and presses a kiss to his hair. ‘’I asked if you wanted to come to the deli with me. I know you haven’t eaten yet.’’

‘’Yeah, sure,’’ Tony says easily. He _is_ hungry, after all.

If, all the way over there, he pays attention to the way that Stephen is keeping his hands away, that’s not something he needs to bring up yet.

~*~

Tony has seen Stephen’s hands – of course he has. A guy can’t keep his hands hidden away all the time, no matter how hard he tries. It’s only now that he notices that Stephen, indeed, is trying very hard. Even when they’re eating, Stephen kind of tucks his hands away in his sleeves, eating with only his fingertips visible. Outside, he often wears gloves, even if it’s not that chilly yet. Of course, it’s only November, and the weather is getting increasingly cold, so Tony hadn’t noticed.

He wonders now if it’s to shield his hands from prying eyes, instead of the quickly-lowering temperature.

But then again – Tony doesn’t know why Stephen would. Tony loves Stephen’s hands, or at least, what they represent. He doesn’t remember ever holding them, though, or even looking at them beyond a fleeting glance, but now he wants to, because he knows he loves them. Stephen’s hands are how he focuses his magic – his lover had explained to him, before they were anything more than friends, that it wasn’t the source of his power, and even someone without hands could do magic, but that it helps to make the magic physical nonetheless. Those hands have saved lives beyond measure, as a doctor and as a Sorcerer. 

Tony doesn’t know why Stephen would be ashamed of that, and he wants to find out.

Problem: he’s not exactly certain how to confront the man he’s been dating for no more than a week about something he’s clearly conscious about. Should he even say anything? Will it be too weird if he _doesn’t_ bring it up?

No, he has to say something, Tony decides. If only because whatever Stephen’s doing, he’s obviously bothered by _something_ , and he wants to help. Waiting is only going to make it harder.

Which doesn’t mean Tony knows how to start.

~*~

He waits for an opportunity to present itself, but opportunities seem scarce, these days. Tony and Stephen are both busy men, and only have time to see each other during the evenings. They don’t even sleep in the same bed, yet; Tony doesn’t know how to bring that up, either.

The thing is, Tony really likes Stephen. It’s been a gradual thing, but once he realized he had feelings for his fellow hero, the feelings have seemed to multiply. Especially now they’re dating – Stephen does stupid little things for him, like leaving notes instead of texting, and magically conjuring up a glass of water beside him if he hasn’t drunk enough yet. He doesn’t want to scare Stephen away, and he has no idea how fast the man wants to move things. He has no idea if Stephen’s still just trying on their relationship for size, or if he’s as serious about it as Tony is.

They like each other. Talking about the important stuff, however, isn’t their strong suit.

The worst part is that Stephen keeps tucking his hands away, just as Tony wants to hold them. He keeps hiding them, surreptitiously, no matter what they’re doing. It’s only when Tony kisses Stephen, or hugs him, that he feels the hands settle on his back, uncertain, ready to pull back within seconds.

It only makes him want to cuddle up to Stephen even more, but he backs away, not sure if it’d be welcome.

~*~

‘’Hey,’’ Tony says casually. Stephen is staying with him, for once, and they’ve just finished eating their homemade meal. It’d been a disaster, as Tony only knows how to make one meal – coffee – and Stephen only one other meal – sandwiches. Still, they had managed, and that made it all the better. ‘’You know, if you want to, you can stay.’’

‘’I wasn’t planning on leaving yet,’’ Stephen says. He’s leaning against Tony as they’re lying on the couch. ‘’You were going to show me that movie.’’

‘’I meant after,’’ Tony says. ‘’You can sleep here. If you want that, of course.’’

Stephen stills against Tony’s chest, before sitting up. There’s something unreadable in his eyes, before his expression settles to something more neutral. Neutral, though, gives away more than enough; he’s masking up something, and Tony bets it’s not anything that spells well for him.

‘’I’m not certain that’s a good idea,’’ Stephen says. ‘’I have to be up very early, I’ve a thing with Wong, I’d just bother you.’’

Tony can say that he has to be up, early, too. He can say that no, Stephen won’t bother him. He can ask after whatever thing he has to do with Wong.

He doesn’t want to hear what the man _really_ means, so he just nods and doesn’t say anything. Stephen ends up leaving before they see the movie. Tony sleeps alone.

~*~

‘’Stephen, watch out, they’re coming up from behind you,’’ Tony says over the comm., as he flies over the hairy monsters. They’re from some other universe, apparently. Stephen had taken care of the portal with Wong in no time, but there’s still a ton of these things to worry about. Rhodey is shooting at them from another angle, and he’d allowed Peter to come help them out from a distance. His webbing is really efficient on these things, and Tony tells himself to compliment his protégée on his success on this mission, after it’s done.

Vision’s also down there. All in all, the monsters don’t stand a chance. They’re quick, though, and strong, but as long as everyone keeps their distance, they can’t come close. They’re only armed with short knives. All heroes are capable of fighting from a longer distance, so Tony doesn’t necessarily worry.

Or at least, that is until he hears the quick yell of pain come over the communication device.

‘’ _Stephen was hit_ ,’’ he hears Wong say, and he curses out loud. 

‘’ _I’m fine_ ,’’ Stephen insists immediately, his voice curt. ‘’ _One of them was faster than my spell, and cut my hand. It’s dead now._ ’’

‘’How many more of them are there?’’ Tony demands.

‘’ _Three, Mr Stark_ ,’’ Peter informs him. 

‘’Great. Okay, this should be over quickly enough.’’

It is, but Tony’s head isn’t as much in it as it was at first. Those few seconds of hearing the yell, and then hearing Stephen was injured – well, his heart hasn’t beaten as fast in a long time. He cares too much about Stephen to not let it affect him, that’s clear now. Peter’s doing a great job, though, and manages to take one of the screeching, murderous monsters out by himself, while Vision and Rhodey clear up the second and Tony cuts the last one in half with his lasers. 

It’s not a pretty sight, but it gets the job done, anyway. 

He lands next to Stephen as soon as he’s ascertained that all of them are gone, opening his mask and approaching the man. Stephen’s standing on the pavement, apparently oblivious to the fact that Tony’s there. He’s staring at his hands, blood oozing from them, with a look of disgust on his face.

‘’Stephen!’’ Tony says urgently. He doesn’t care if Stephen tries to hide his hands or not; the cuts look deep, and he needs to get them checked out. ‘’Hey, are you alright? Let me see your hands.’’

Stephen looks up in horror. ‘’No!’’ he says, and clenches his fists. 

‘’Stephen,’’ Tony says, walking until he’s right in front of him. ‘’This is ridiculous. You’re hurt, let me see. I want to help you. I’ll bring you to the hospital.’’

‘’I’ll go with Wong,’’ Stephen says, already looking over Tony’s shoulder for his friend. ‘’I will talk with you later, Tony.’’

Wong gives him a look, as he and Stephen pass through a portal together. Stephen doesn’t even look back at him.

Tony, once again, remains alone.

~*~

It’s evening when he throws open the door to Stephen’s bedroom. Wong had let him into the Sanctum without a word, and pointed Tony to where he should be. Apparently, Stephen had retired early, and Tony doesn’t even think about how sad it is that the first time he’s in Stephen’s bedroom will also be the last time.

‘’We have to talk,’’ he says.

Stephen sits upright in bed, alarmed as he sees him. ‘’Tony,’’ the Sorcerer says, surprised.

‘’Yeah, it’s me,’’ Tony says, softening as he takes in the man. Stephen’s wearing a sleeveless shirt, clearly meant for sleeping, and his hands are resting on the blanket. One of them is wrapped in bandages. As he sees Tony looking at it, though, his hands move under the blanket, hiding it from sight. Tony’s resolve hardens.

‘’What are you doing here?’’ Stephen asks, his voice low with sleep.

‘’Well, you weren’t picking up the phone, and considering you were hurt in a battle today, I wanted to check up on you,’’ Tony says, ‘’but you didn’t let me take you to a hospital, and you haven’t let me know how you were after, so I didn’t have a lot of choices.’’

Stephen is silent for a moment. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ he says eventually.

‘’Yeah, me too,’’ Tony sighs. ‘’Look – this is obviously not working out. Stephen, I really like you, but this? You won’t ever let me take your hands, you’ll barely touch me, you refuse to sleep with me. And then I mean the actual _sleeping_ part, not the physical one. You won’t let me help you when you’re injured. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.’’

Stephen stares at him. ‘’Tony, I – you can’t –‘’

‘’I think I just did,’’ Tony interrupts him. He wants to leave now, wants to stop thinking about Stephen. He wants to crawl in bed with the man, press a kiss to his shoulders and sleep. He doesn’t know what he wants, but it’s not this. Not the ice cold agony in his heart as he breaks it off with a guy he cares so deeply about. ‘’Stephen, I’ve tried, but I can’t do it like this. I’ll, uh – well, I won’t lie, I’m going to hide in the lab for some time, but I’ll see you. After. Get better soon.’’

Stephen doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with a desperation that Tony hasn’t seen from him before. He can’t let it change his mind, though – he won’t.

He turns around, and walks away.

~*~

It’s the middle of the night. Tony’s wide awake, partly because of the AC/DC that’s blasting while he’s repairing the motor in one of his cars, partly because of the fact that he had one too many cup of coffee after coming home. He doesn’t want to lie wide awake in his bed; at least this is a good way to distract himself.

Suddenly, the music turns off. Tony whips up his head. ‘’FRIDAY?’’ he asks, but no reply comes from her in the silent workshop.

Instead, another voice speaks up. ‘’Tony.’’

Stephen is standing in the door opening. His hair is wild, and it looks like he put on the first clothes that he found – he’s not even wearing shoes. Tony has never wanted to see him more than at that moment, and his mouth goes dry. ‘’St – why are you here?’’

Stephen’s eyes are focused on his, weighing heavily on him. ‘’I’m sorry for barging in,’’ he says, slowly approaching Tony, as if he’s afraid he’ll be shooed away. ‘’I’m even more sorry for letting you leave, when you came to the Sanctum. But what I regret most is driving you away in the first place. Tony, I realize that I haven’t been a very good partner so far. Truth is, I haven’t dated anyone in years, not since I started studying the Mystic Arts. I didn’t think anyone was worth the effort, until I came to know you. Tony, my hands, my refusal to stay over – none of it has to do with you, or how I feel about you. You have to believe that.’’

‘’I don’t know what to believe,’’ Tony says. ‘’I’ve literally no idea what is going on.’’

The Sorcerer offers him a tight smile. ‘’I’ve been – well, insecure. As a doctor, the first thing you need is a lot of knowledge, obviously, but few people realize how important it is to have steady hands. They were a source of pride, for me. They’re not, anymore, and I hadn’t realized how important that was to me until I found that I was… embarrassed. They tremble, Tony. A lot. I drop things on a daily basis when I forgot to refocus some of my energy on keeping them still. I need magic to have them be steady. They’re scarred, and ugly, and I can’t trust them anymore when I’m not actively stabilizing them. And I didn’t want you to see.’’

‘’You didn’t want me to see your _hands_?’’ Tony repeats, incredulously. ‘’Stephen, shit. I love your hands, okay? I like it when you’re holding me. I’ve tried multiple times to take your hand. You don’t have to pretend around me – who cares if your hands tremble a little? I keep Dum-E around, and he drops a lot of stuff, and don’t tell him, but you’re more loveable than he is. Seriously, don’t tell him, he’ll douse me. He’s done it before for less.’’

Stephen smiles, and it’s only a small tilt of his lips, but it’s a lot more sincere than it was a few minutes ago. He closes the distance between Tony, and holds up both of his hands. They’re trembling, and there’s little specks of blood on the bandaged one, but Tony doesn’t care. Stephen wants to show him, finally, and Tony will let him. 

He takes both hands, slowly, pressing multiple kisses against each of them. There’s faint scarring, but Tony couldn’t care in the least. Their scars make them who they are, and if Stephen had never gotten those, he probably wouldn’t even have met him.

‘’I’m in this for the long haul,’’ Tony tells him. ‘’Scars or no scars. You want to see mine? I’ve got a chest full of them. I’ve got a few mental ones too, I’d bet. You’ve got nothing to be insecure about, I promise you.’’

‘’I believe you,’’ Stephen says. ‘’So… will you still have me?’’

‘’Of course, you idiot,’’ Tony says, smiling despite himself, and reaches up to kiss Stephen, still holding his hands.

Obviously, that’s the moment Dum-E douses the both of them, and Tony reflects he shouldn’t have given the bot the opportunity to ever douse him in the first place. Stephen laughs, though, a warm sound echoing around the room, and just kisses him again before Tony can start complaining.

~*~

Tony doesn’t know it yet, then, but years later, he’ll stand next to Stephen on a beach. He’ll take Stephen’s hand, kiss it, and slip a ring on his finger. He’ll hold the hand of his newly-acquired husband as they promise to forever show each other their scars, and never shy away from what has brought them together.

For now, though, Tony is content to just take Stephen’s hand, and not let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Just some advertising for myself: I'm currently in the middle of updating a long slow-build ironstrange fic (175k). If you like my writing and can't get enough of Tony and Stephen, give [Citizen Erased](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767442/chapters/41923112) a try! It's my baby. I post twice a week and have finished writing for it, so it'll definitely be finished. Otherwise, I have posted plenty of other ironstrange fics, and there's many more in the planning :)
> 
> Know what gives me unending joy? You guys pushing that ''Comment'' button and then hitting a few random keys on your keyboard to create a few words. Just makes my day. :)


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